Professional Development

27 - The OK Corral
Here is a graphical representation of Frank Ernst's life positions. As you can see, we are looking at a double entry matrix in which the first quadrant corresponds to "I'm not OK, you're OK." At on corner of this quadrant we have depressives who can be identified, for example, from the way they relate to others: their behavior usually consists of distancing themselves, isolating themselves, remaining in a corner, passing unnoticed, etc.; their preferred activity is informality, failure to follow through, excuses, delays or, at times, obsessive behavior. A very frequent form of expression is: "I think so," "I'll try," "Look, I can't," "It looks hard to me." All of this is usually associated with feelings of anxiety, embarrassment or confusion. With regard to time, they believe they should let it pass and that, "The sooner I'm out of here the better."However, the upper right quadrant refers to realists, that is to say, "I'm OK, you're OK." Their form of relationship consists of growing, creating, collaborating and helping. These subjects usually deliver a high level of results in their activities, they have dedication and team spirit and frequently use expressions such as: "Thanks," "Hello," "I like you," "Come on, we'll manage it;" they transmit great energy, feelings of cheerfulness, optimism, love, peace, love of life and usually consider that time is to be used and enjoyed.In the lower quadrants, in the "You're not OK," we find "I'm not OK, you're not OK, nobody is OK, and it's all hopeless anyway" - these are desperate people whose way of relating is usually apathy and rigidity, even physical, in their way of mixing. Their activities (indifference, carelessness, crossed arms, etc.) are clearly consistent: "I'm not OK, you're not OK, nothing is OK and it's all hopeless, so why bother?" That is why their expressions could be: "It doesn't matter, why bother, nobody is going to change it." Associated feelings may be anguish, desperation, dejection and their way of using time is to waste it.Finally, in the bottom left-hand corner you find the paranoiacs, "I'm OK, you're not OK, the world is in bad shape, but I'm not." Their way of relating is to persecute, get rid of, expel, show a tendency to humiliate; their preferred activity is that of rescuer, know-it-all, they usually swamp themselves with work, they do not know how cheer up, they bully everyone else and use expressions of the type: "You are going to do as I say," "Never forget," "I said so," "I already said that." They show feelings associated with anger, irritation, annoyance and always manage their time with haste or doing many things at the same time. This would be the case of a controlling Parent with a paranoiac existential position, evidently insufferable.